So according to her current lifestyle, we should marry boring and successful early, have a couple of kids, then divorce him, have our brilliant carreers, and date the fun, funny, sexy men we wanted in the first place? What?

The right for one or both parties in a marriage to say "Fuck it, this isn't working out, it's an irredeemable disaster and life is too short" should never be seen as a bad thing. Two people being trapped together forever, against their will, is the horrible option.

because pants are for boys, heathen.

DICKTILLION?? omg copyright that shit ASAP.

You laugh now, but then Facebook will go ahead and buy it for dicktillion dollars. And then the brogrammers who brogrammed it will invest all of their money in axe body spray.

Cool story bro!

Nothing says ignorant like sweeping generalizations.

She talked about the other people in the bar like an indigenous tribe or something! Saying how they are afraid because they don't understand (the camera won't steal your soul!), and then she describes herself enlightening the masses as she lets people try the Google Glass. She seriously sounds like she sees herself as…

I smiled sweetly and told her I breastfed, that I just use formula to cut my coke.

I am one of those people. This is the story as far as I am concerned: there is a wizard boy with glasses, and a girl with bad hair, and a redheaded boy. And then they do magic things. The end.

I am expecting and am not going to breastfeed because I don't fucking want to. And fuck all of the people say to try pumping. My boobs. My choice. And my sweet husband is very hands on and very excited to do the majority of the time.

YAY!!!

Right here with you!

I hate the shit out of 69.

I've only hit one person in my life (and I swear that it was deserved, but I kind of missed so it didn't inflict any damage) and if someone said to my face that "everyone is so unique that being unique isn't unique anymore", I would, without hesitation, punch them in the face.

I've decided I'm on Team Nussbaum. I can practically smell the testosterone wafting off the screen and... I'm just not interested in #dudeproblems. It's okay if other people are, but I'm just not any more. Too much gritted teeth and gruff yelling 3 inches from one another's faces and I just kind of zone out.

Steak well done can fuck off and die!

I dated a 29 year old when I was 19 and let me tell you, guys who do that are fucking BROKEN. I couldn't even date a 23 year old and I'm 25 now. The now 35 year old still texts me, rhapsodizing about how much he will always love me. No, you loved fucking a cute teenager who worshipped you, just admit it already and…

I imagine him beginning to go at it with vigor only to have her naked body flash in his mind leaving him sitting on the toilet like Sad Keanu.

We both agree that nothing would have happened had we not ended up in the same city for the same event over that beautiful spring weekend. ... For months, I had carried a secret crush for you, but I never thought of making a move.