If I were in a room with Hitler, bin Laden, and Cowherd, and given a gun with three bullets, I would shoot Cowherd three times.

Oregon State is playing Oregon in the Pro Bowl?

BREAKING: Oklahoma State players smoke shitty weed.

knock knock!

On this solemn day it is important to take time for reflection...specifically the reflection in the mirror of me wearing a dope Bear Bryant hat and looking fly as hell.

Keep Portland Weird!

I guess you could say he FELL HEAD OVER HEELS For her

Oh, it's happened. FOR SURE. Also, just as a tip, I've just found a great southern food joint in Vancouver, of all places. Blows Bernie's Southern Bistro out of the water, sadly.

Hmm...I may have to try this milkshake, despite my lukewarm attitude toward Burgerville. I mean, when Slow Bar is a thing that exists, I can't bring myself to go to Burgerville.

Portland's got wood.

I come so hard when that happens. I get off to the sound of the despair and disappointment in her voice

I've heard a lot of tragic things happen to other people (dead dogs, dead grandmas, "Bank of America foreclosed on my house even though I don't even have a mortgage, this was paid off when I inherited it and has been in the family since 1776")...

But nothing is so tragic than the plaintive sigh of a girl who, during…

Au contraire, there is always at least one 9 volt in the house:

Raw garlic is like a bump of cocaine to your mouth.

Radical nuns are the best nuns.

Respectfully disagree. The rule in our house is that the people you love the most are most deserving of your best manners. Of course, good manners to your husband might mean walking around naked, so it's different from Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior, of course. Point being, we make an effort to…

All these Phantom of the Opera names being used are giving me life.

It's not like any other Alabama fans will catch it.

Needs more cowbell.

I don't see a problem here. It's clear that the recipient of this text was black.