I feel you. I did the same for a very long time, up until this year actually. Mainly I got more form fitting stuff because I'm running a lot more and didn't like the feel of a baggy shirt getting clingy and increasing drag while I run.

Does anyone even call them a university, or even Oregon any more? In my circles it's just Nike U., Nike A&M or Nike City College, depending on the day's level of mocking it's "student" athletes and corporate greed.

The televisions will show an endless loop of all of Oregon's national championships and big bowl wins.

That's at Oregon State.

Cool story bra.

I'll raise you a Sad Trombone as well.

If only he followed the Handy Jezebel Guide. :(

In certain countries, Muslim women, if they’re raped, are killed – it’s their fault.

Oh, that's nothing. My kids wouldn't think twice about saying something like, "Those shoes look awful, miss. Never wear them again." Or, "That shirt, miss? No. Just, no." Or, my favorite, "I don't care what people say! I like you!" I also like, "Damn, miss! You got nice hips — for a white lady." …

Exactly. This probably makes me a terrible person, but my secret guilty pleasure is seeing someone carrying a hideous Coach bag with all the "C's" all over, clearly thinking she's the shizz.

but you say godamn and hell and you know where those peaches were made so delicious

I'm going to go ahead and call bullshit on this because the really nice designer bags aren't plastered with logos, and unless you knew your handbag shit you wouldn't know it who made it. The reason you pay the extra money is for the feel and quality. Your purse will last forever. It's only the cheaper designer bags…

And did you drink totally awesome shooters, and laugh at totally awesome jokes all night, with your totally awesome friends, that have totally awesome hair?

STAAAAAAAAR-fuckers

her eyebrows were a late-term abortion.

we suspect that this—a contract governing everything from relationship to pregnancy to termination—is far from uncommon in pro sports.

That's great hustle.

I don't understand why it's not obvious—the rescuer wasn't Zimmerman at all, it was Corey Booker in a fat suit.

How to "adult-up" a grilled cheese by Chef John @ FoodWishes:

I'm all for cute vibes, but these just look like cheap crap. I've bought my fair share of cheap crap, including jellies that break down and get nasty and lose color, hard plastics that slowly get louder as they get older, bullets that wear out their batteries in twenty minutes, and even one of those little butterfly…