Again "my boss"...you're not his boss, you're living your life probably hundreds of miles away from him and judging him based on the narrative that people also living hundreds of miles away from him have constructed. I feel like this speaks to the entitlement of untalented people who think to themselves, "If I had…

The point is.. his "boss" isn't being allowed to judge him for it. His boss is being told by the media and a bunch of entitled fans that the judgement of his character has already been decided.

Defending sports media, especially against it's own triviality, is a gigantic waste of time.

People write this shit because it…

Don't let that self awareness give you away; someone might accuse you of being a Gen-Xer.

I was going to copy and paste this quote too, and point out that I didn't think that really reflected much success. Hell, I can do that well without cake.

She needs to check her hair privilege.

I know, I think I could do better than that at 18 bars, sans cake. And I'm nothing special. But many people go to bars to meet people, so that seems like a low success rate.

But also, let's be honest, her extensive knowledge of Michael Jordan's past and basketball in general is really what sold it.

Madeline, Imma let you finish, but the best Jimmy Fallon news ever is that JESSE AND THE RIPPERS WILL BE PERFORMING ON THE SHOW ON FRIDAY

Hey look, she managed to play Michael Jordan without changing the color of her skin. See how that can work?

I always just put on mascara.

Blue Velvet Cake looks and sounds disgusting.

I don't have to hand it out, they line up and bring their own flatware. My #pie brings all the boys to the yard. #notevenacontest

Kitty decides when petting is done.

Usually when I read a Jez article and run off to hug my cat, it is because I have suffered further erosion of my faith in humanity and immediately need felid compassion. This time it was because that story made my heart flutter a little.

He's a vegan firefighter who saved a kitten. He is the perfect man.

Ew.

So.....he's Edward Snowden?

And if there's anything hotter than having sex with a spouse who doesn't want to, well I don't know what it is.

But Heaven’s floodgates open when we stop making excuses!