I was feeling so superior until I got to the Marilyn Monroe one and remembered that I had floor to ceiling Marilyn stuff all over one of my rooms when I was 20.

I've been with men who couldn't finish despite heroic efforts occasionally. And it IS jarring to experience from that end. I think both times after like an hourish of different positions/oral/etc. I've just been like "So, are you still going?" sweetly, not in a put down way at all. And if they're like "No... I don't…

"Will you watch me while I finish?" said in your sexiest purr.

I don't believe in the public option. But I *DO* believe in the PUBIC option.

Kinja'd! Drat.

As do all of the most delicious food stuffs.

There is no alleged about it. He loves taking it out for walks... and I love that he loves that.

Also acknowledging that penises exist? Maybe that's not necessary.

Yeah, I mean, there's a pretty fine line (it's especially fine when you're young and deeply self-centered) between encouraging your friends and peers to also work on finding what's best for them and encouraging them to act in a way that is not desirable to them.

I have kind of a crush on Billy Joe right now, not gonna lie.

So, at 60 seconds I was annoyed as fuck.

IT'S LITERALLY MY FAVORITE HOBBY!!!

literally 100% of my sex is recreational... since I have ridded myself of it's "productive" capabilities.

Also, I feel like this is relevant:

Wait... they meant to make it sound like a Stefon review, right?

Could be... I had literally never noticed before in my 30 years. But how often does one concern oneself with the relative hair volume of their mother's arms? I don't even know what brought on the thought, I was just looking at her and all of the sudden went "holy shit, mom, you don't have any hair on your arms. WHY?"…

It's 12:03... sounds like happy hour to me.

Right? Like... actually shaving your pubes is not a sexy act. There's lots of weird positions required to get the hair, and you need to be concentrating on the task at hand. And OH HELL NO my husband is not coming anywhere NEAR my lady garden with a razor. nope nope nope nope nope.

I always get a cucumber jalapeno marg. And by "a" I mean "4"

SHUT UP I WAS THERE LAST NIGHT.