"I haven't seen tan lines like that since...ever."

Obligatory "shocking that Vince Carter is still playing basketball" post.

You misspelled "Dope". It starts with a "D", not an "N".

...flick it over the helpless keeper.

James Dolan is like the cigarettes of owners.

Without the story for context, I honestly can't tell the difference between a sad and a happy Russian. I once thought I saw a Russian guy smile but it turned out to be a less exaggerated frown.

Wait, there's a Winter Olympics?

"Wonky eye? I don't see it."

"I beg to differ. The perfect friendship is one in which you relentlessly hurl homophobic and racial slurs at your friend, while at the same time verbally depicting graphic rape fantasies involving his sister."

I thought this was a spot on interpretation of the 2014 slam dunk contest.

I hope they got to tour Johnny Weir's chocolate factory after the broadcast.

If you spoke Korean, you'd know that the player pulled a lip muscle prior to the timeout and though he wanted to play on, the coach informed the trainer that it would be best to tape it up and sit out the rest of the game.

Slow clap.

"also played a few years in Australia's National Basketball League..."

Under Armour spokesperson: We feel like putting actual armor under the Mach 39 will help to weigh the skater down to the ice, creating a sturdier skater that's less likely to fall during the race.

"Oh, I'm sick of doing Japanese stuff! In jail we had to be in this dumb kabuki play about the 47 Ronin, and I wanted to be Oshi, but they made me Ori!"

At least we know it wasn't Donovan McNabb.

This fight was originally held up when Zimmerman requested that DMX "remain in his pre-fight warm-up hoodie for the entirety of the fight".

Alright "Professor Crazy Legs"...

Big fan of your stand-up, Seinfeld, and CCC. My question is, with Larry David going on to have successful sitcom following Seinfeld, would you ever consider doing another sitcom?