My senior year of high school, the football team sold discount cards for local businesses as a fundraiser. We went out in groups to different parts of town to “sell” them.

I have another one. 1996 I think and we were 14 years old. My friend’s dad do e us down to Louisville to see a triple-A game. Dmitri Young was really good at the time and was about to make it to the bigs.

I met Chuck Liddell in the bathroom of the Key Club in L.A. I was there for a Steal Panther show, (it was actually a work thing, tickets purchased by my boss while we were at a trade show) and we were in the VIP section with a bunch of B list celebs/athletes (Pedro from Napoleon Dynamite, Chris Cooley, Josh Beckett,…

I hope he got $7.9 million.

How is this story not about the alien that was restraining him?

Ah, slurs. If someone could respond with the n-word, then we’d have an Internet comments trifecta.

You did not disappoint .

“You can’t play wide receiver any better than Antonio Brown did last night.”

What a Bum-mer.

Offensive, lineman; Richie Incognito.

Eat my a22, then you can go.

So blood clots killed the dinosaurs?

Let’s remember some dinosaurs.

I can think of 72 times this year that I was happy.

Omg, this. I live down the street from these clowns that have a Steelers mailbox and fly a Steelers flag in front of their house. They watch football every Sunday in their Steelers canvas chairs in their fucking open garage. I can hear them shouting from a quarter mile away and i can smell the wing sauce when walking…

He’s the Utah of quarterbacks.

Don’t ever stop!

Bud Light Lime tastes like someone mixed vaguely citrus flavored gasoline with chilled, brown mountain climber urine.

“Remember When Bill Simmons Wrote A Bunch Of Bullshit?"

I came here for historical Indian massacre jokes. I was not dissapointed.