I’m in a confusing part of the internet right now, and it’s midnight...

Morals clauses in entertainment contracts are fairly common, and can be expansive in scope.

You want to really lose it? Look up Wayne Dumond.

Hey there Baltimore, post-Katrina New Orleans knows right where you’re coming from

Iodine poisoning

PCP-addicted sociopathic mass-murderer

Beat me to it!

He's not a sociopath; he's what right wingers used to cal a "useful idiot" back in the day.

I have a special place in my heart for woman rugby players with a devil may care attitude. Part of me feels you should be running the planet, although that might mean a lot of war for the hell of it so probably not the best idea. In any case, your next shot's on me

Does that look like a guy who doesn't spend a lot of time online? I'm just glad there's no caption.

MOAR TASTELESS MATH JOKES

When I finally realized nobody really wanted to know what was up or how I was doing, that it was only a ritual with standardized responses, my life became a lot easier.

Unfortunately, in New Jersey you can't plug it in yourself...

Selfie stick + kilt

I don't know, but I did have a guy call me "boy" once. I was bussing fine dining, New Orleans brunch, and he was explaining to his girlfriend that "garcon" means "boy" in French. So he called me "boy," as in, "excuse me. Boy? We'll have another round." So I farted on him. I went to adjust the silver on the table next…