#YesAllCephalopods

how much trouble would you have gotten into if you had gotten the sides and then mixed them yourself for the customer, before taking them to the table? i am seriously curious, i haven't worked in a table service restaurant but we made up all kinds of stuff for customer requests at the fast food places i have worked.

No, I mean, extreme poverty because my only job is moving work and it's by no means full-time and my boss has been driving for someone else so he can't use me so I've made $15 with him this past week, so I've been busking but we're having an early fall here and my hands can't take it for more than a couple hours, and…

I learned what chicken fried steak was in elementary school - it was ground-up grayish dog turds coated in teeth-shattering "deep fry" jagged brown exterior.

I've never had foie gras before...what does it taste like?

Yeah, but it's not the same. If I'm putting a dick in a butt, I want to be a dude while doing it. And I want it to be MY dick.

Plus it's a kind of sex I can't have (which is just a damn shame)...

ZOMG—that is my story. I'm so proud that it lives on in the hearts and minds of my fellow jezzies!

Ok... maybe this will be good for me, like a last confession. And I swear upon everything I hold dear that this is absolute truth... *sigh*

You should always link the story so others can share in your horror.

"On the other hand why must men have daughter to suddenly get that girls are people, or that they face a daily onslaught of cultural prescriptives that reinforce super retro roles?"

much love.

That teenager rocks, as do you.

I was in line at a mildly asian-ish noodle bowl food court situation and the woman in front of me asked for all meat and no vegetables. The teenager behind the counter asks she if she would like mushrooms. The woman loudly responds " I said NO vegetables." The teen is confused and asks again if she would like…

Proof that I am evil: Many years ago I was having a really rough time. My life was collapsing in every way possible, and things were only getting worse. I didn't know it at the time, but I had just gotten a new telephone number that was one number different from the local pizza place. Here I was trying to get a…

The customer who walked in with three kids, sat at a table and asked one of my servers, "Do you guys have nachos?" (I'd like to point out that he would have walked directly by the sign on the front of the building that read "authentic Italian thin-crust pizza") The server informed him that we did not, but we did have…

while I've had a customer ask for and then gleefully drink multiple rounds of a Yuengling with grenadine and a straw in it

I remember this awesome Mexican place where my husband went to grad school. The food was superb and reasonable. The place was pretty pedestrian but clean. A few month after it openned, a local paper uncovered their secret - they were butchering the meat in the basement. Unsanitary doesn't even begin to cover the…

I get this. I totally get this. There isn't exactly a dearth of Chinese places in my neighborhood and the funkiest, grossest one has the best food. Honestly, I get their food delivered because I'm convinced I will get all the herpes if I walk inside their joint.

The very fact that the BMI is intended to crossover for both genders says quite a bit about how incredibly fucking unreliable it is as a diagnostic tool. I know newer versions supposedly have a Male / Female split but the original one was just "people"...don't worry about anatomy or physiology, folks, everyone who is…