I'm a legal immigrant of a non-US country (I'm actually American. As a side note, I get a lot of "wtf" responses from other immigrants for leaving the states), and I have very little tolerance for illegal immigrants and immigration scammers. They've made it 300% harder for people to go the legal route, and that…

Needs more Patton Oswalt.

You sir, get a star.

Wow, that sucks. At my last work party me and the four directors polished off three bottles of nice whiskey and a bottle of vodka.

I'm lucky if I can find a pizza place that (a) has a crust that is better than something you can get off a shelf in Tesco (b) has both a "black" and a "green" olive option. I'm a horribly adventurous eater, but when I'm ordering delivery pizza I basically have to settle for "better than frozen".

As someone who lived among the people of Quebec for five years, I can completely agree that you would hear "chainsaw tabernac" before your imminent death.

Baby chickens typically don't explode when exposed to high temperatures.

I've had baby nile monitors shipped to me in 24-hour methods. Why yes, I've had a lot of strange looks from postal workers.

Oh, only if it says something like "red wine vinegar".

..."of" or "for"? Because with one I sympathize, and with another I'm kinda insulted.

Why. Won't. The. Image. Un. BLUR????

My wife, who is 25, comes up to about my shoulders and looks about 10 years younger. I've had people shout "that's a little girl, man" at my on the street before. We were going to go out one day for a picnic in the park and she had a backpack on; I had to veto it on the grounds that I didn't want to by lynched.

31-year-old me would be pumped, if I wasn't stopped at the gates.

My parents are like that. They won't eat anything that mentions alcohol involved in the process at any point. This includes vinegar.

Wow; thanks for a very well balanced article.

Nope, sorry. I like spiders. I have the general irrational fear of spiders, but I still find them cool.

Keep in mind that (for Nintendo at least) handhelds come out like candy. How many Gameboy variations came out during the lifespan of the 360? You can't keep up that kind of market without having reasonable compatibility across multiple generations, even if it needs hardware adapters for cartridges.

Not out to pick fights at all. If that's the extent of what you meant, fine, but not being inside your head it didn't parse that way is all.

Switch the "4" and the "2", leave the "0k" and you'll have the closest number.

//they don't deserve to be praised for being decent human beings