Let's look at the positive side...Hernandez murders three people, yesterday a Gator was accused of sexual assault and today it's a harmless schoolyard fistfight over some shoes. Serious progress, people. These guys really put the gain in Gainesville!

I'm glad to see someone else was on the right track here. Depth perception seems to be her weakest pursuit.

I think maybe she might actually be a decent hurdler but she might wanna hit up a Lens Crafters. The first jump looked fuckin majestic until it was made clear to her it began about three feet early. It was clear to me from the get-go and I can't see for shit. Almost appeared as though she mistakenly thought the…

Ha, no for sure not. It's sad in this instance "good eye" means "way to not look only at the swinging dick." I must say it is absolutely hilarious though...was kinda surprised the reporter made no effort to block the cock—simply sidestep between the lens and dong...I guess he was just like a deer in headlights. Can't…

I can't tell if the lass behind him is sneezing or vomiting...

And so the facade crumbles a little further...

I don't see how it matters that such-and-such lawyer got Aaron Hernandez off on some two-bit sexual assault beef. Jeez it's not like he KILLED someone. Oh, wait...

I don't see what's so hard for him....it's not like "Ameer Abdullah" has any of the soft G's that cause him to slobber all over himself. You can't see them on camera but Rece Davis and Mark May always wear galoshes on-set.

That's not Ice Cube, that's Doughboy.

"Sooo...this one time Johnny high-fived me after the Bama game...it was awesome. And the other day he texted me about hangin' in Vegas. Yeah...we've got the same bye week. So...you know."

Who lost a Super Bowl to...Tony Dungy.

At least he didn't do this:

I really appreciate the dichotomy of a woman wearing a sweatshirt and jeans in a swimming pool essentially in view of millions somehow possessing the instinct to shield her eyes from the sun.

Man, injuries have really taken a toll on this guy—my late grandmother gets better lift on her J.

Tom Brady spiked the football five feet out of bounds at the TWELVE YARD LINE celebrating a touchdown.

The veritable Chicago Cubs of professional American football shan't enjoy a shred of sustained success! If either were to (shudder) earn a championship the seas will boil and the Earth will hurtle into the sun! This aggression cannot stand!

The level of collective hatred for and jealousy of University of Southern California Trojans could in no discernible way be altered merely by the whimsical and alcohol-fueled musings of myself.

Forgive my ignorance on this matter, but my understanding of the sport of fútbol is limited to play on the field. Extra time determination and substitution rules befuddle and frankly agonize me whilst I am trying to appreciate the sport and find a reason to watch more than once every four years, if intently at that.

Don't wanna get too real here, but it's always been my understanding that the Washington Post is one of the better newspapers in America (by "better" I suppose I mean "more respected"...not WSJ, NYT, or LAT territory, but more Chi Trib, Philly Inq, Atl JC, Dallas MN, etc.).

Wow...epic confusion and notable hostility your part. I guess it's my passion for my team you find off-putting?? Dude, there's no shame in JUCO athletics...just embrace and support them. There's no reason you can't feel school pride as I do...