I already addressed your second point; having a romantic relationship as one's priority does not mean that friendship is "lower," it just reflects priorities and scarcity. It is harder to get into a romantic relationship than it is to initiate a casual friendship. Given limited time and resources, some of us do have…

Why on earth would you pretend it doesn't exist? That's what I've been arguing - that it exists. It isn't like the concept of a "friend zone" holds particular predictive power that men are relying on. It is just a category of experience, a verbal shorthand for explaining a well-known story.

I think there are definitely cases like that. I think many men will tell you that they have had conversations with women that run along the following lines: 1) my boyfriend treats me poorly/is an asshole/cheated on me, 2) why can't I just find a nice guy to date. But you're right that jealousy can inform our…

I think that is part of what guys are talking about, and that there is a window during which you can become attractive to a woman, and outside of this window you are going to be friends or nothing.

I understand that it isn't really because he's a friend. Really, I get that. I have never said otherwise.

Perhaps you keep telling them how much they despise you, and they are forced to believe it?

"we are all fucking beasts. and we neither should expect "better" from each other. that's stupidity at its height."

I disagree. And I admit that I, myself, do not "deserve" love or affection. The rest of it is more complicated, because we have to get into social contracts and states of nature. Babies "deserve" love, in the sense that they require it to thrive, and love is incredibly important developmentally to a child. But they…

I'm sorry that you have some insensitive friends, that really does suck.

Men go on the "women just like assholes" rant because, having befriended women they want to date, they get to hear all her complaints about whatever guy she is currently dating. At least, this is my experience. The guy may or may not really be an asshole. But the friendzoned guy is only hearing the negative, so he…

You've latched onto a word and attached far more significance than was intended. I wasn't "compelled" to use the word excuse, and you have a weak case if all you can point to is one word you disapprove of. Of course no one *needs* an excuse to not date someone else. No person is owed the requital of romantic feelings,…

I never said you were a dick. You were either sincere or trying to be kind, and I have no way of knowing which. Neither did he, most likely.

That is odd. I have been friends (usually work friends) with women I have no attraction to whatsoever.

You can only have so many friends that are actually friends in any meaningful sense. As I responded to emfish55 above, if one already has several close friends, a relationship is scarcer and more valuable than a new friendship. Perhaps a better response from him would have been "I have a limited amount of…

Your first conclusion does not follow from the premise. I might already have ten or fifteen close friends, for example, but if I adhere to standards of monogamy, I can only have one romantic partner. Having another close friend is probably not feasible, and certainly isn't if I take every girl who says "I see you as a…

This is a self-serving definition of "friend-zone" that is endlessly perpetuated on Jezebel. The distinguishing characteristic of the friend-zone is the observed tendency to label a potential partner as a friend, and then use that labeling as an excuse not to pursue a romantic relationship. It says nothing about the…

"Yes, I'm going to die alone."

The question is how many women "totally value themselves," and whether that is even a large enough population to try to date from. I don't advocate actually being a dick to anyone, but I do think if some jerk-like behaviors get you into relationships with women you like/love, there's no reason not to do it. Just try…

What it really comes down to is that most women really do not care whether men they have never met die alone, if the only effective means for attracting a partner conflicts with their ideals. Everyone does this, to some extent, on a whole variety of topics. Especially political ones. You don't like the solution, so…

Does "Alright, darlin?" not translate into "Are you OK?" or "Feeling alright, young lady?" in American?