You're all different, you all want different stuff, and I don't have any stuff at all!

You do realize this is unhelpful, right? You are arguing that men should behave as though they live in the world you envision, not the world that exists. By your own argument, someone following your advice would have failed to capture your interest.

Your story is that you locked yourself out of your apartment and thereby lost your savings, but other people "don't have to think to live." Perhaps you got the original iPhone as a gift - but if your money is so tight, why are you spending money you don't have on a smartphone and data plan? Take a bit of…