Which thing is the chicken and which thing is the egg?

The feathers are the best part. Anybody can go to the pet store and buy an iguana or a komodo dragon. Getting those bastards to sit still long enough to glue feathers on them is a real pain. So imagine if they CAME with feathers...!!!...!!!

Recognizing that Johnny Manziel is almost certainly an alcoholic (meaning “the list of places he can reasonably drink” is “none”):

Why should the Browns comment on this at all? By all appearances, he’s in a private home. I get why they might feel some particularly way about him drinking at all (see above), and I get…

Dean Smith did almost the exact same thing when UNC wouldn’t commit to long-time assistant Bill Guthridge. If two Final Fours in three years is considered a success, it was a success.

Hang on, now... Pump your breaks...

That’s an impressive assortment of contradictions for such a short response.

+1 Rebound & 2 points because...

THAT was the putback slam of Internet comments that would make tonight’s Top 10 Plays of Kinja SportsCenter. (There’s a more coherent way to type that but you know what I mean.

I don’t usually like the giggle fits either, but they seemed well-won on this episode. Almost everyone on screen was struggling to keep it together during that alien abduction sketch and Bobby Moynihan was struggling every bit as much as the Gos. McKinnon slayed that sketch.

What an idiotic reply. Both teams scored lots of points. Both teams have really strong offenses that routinely create big plays. None of that has anything do do with whether or not there was an egregiously bad call on the field. And no one is suggesting that the outcome of this game was determined by this one bad…

‘cause hey, if you’re not gonna use the word right, why should I?

Anecdotally: This was a pretty lazy attempt to shoehorn in your disdain and jealousy for Tom Brady.

I read the headline and thought the “Kobe isn’t good anymore and is really old” post might’ve been given the night off. Now I see that it is the new LOLMets.

You conveniently ignored the rest of my comment so you could act like you didn’t understand my point. Or maybe you didn’t understand my point so you focused on the only part of it that you could (mis)understand. So let’s try again:

I’m not talking about “teams.” I’m talking about one team. One team that seems to have…

They stole a basketball team from another city. They traded away their third best player rather than extend him because, hey, they already HAD two superstars and they already had the team, so what was anybody gonna do?!?! You think they’re worried about looking terrible to a bunch of people they’ll never meet? They’re…

This.

I seriously think some people just aren’t willing to believe that Michael Jordan was as good as older people think he was. To be honest, I think some of that is because *ahem* some writers focus on things like what a hyper-competitive dick he was (is), how mean he was to his teammates, his gambling, his comeback…

I suspect you must not have been old enough to have witnessed much of Michael Jordan’s career. Prime MJ was in the conversation for defensive player of the year every year. He was strong as hell and so athletic that he’s his own Nike logo. Creativity? People still imitate his signature dunks. That’s dunks, plural.…

Kobe doesn’t even believe that’s true.

Fuck off, Drew.

(No additional text is even necessary. The piece writes itself.)

And also because the police in Ferguson dressed up like they were about to re-take Fallujah...

No riots so far, FYI.