Mostly a lack of talent, recent success, experience, and leadership.

That, ladies and gentlemen, is what a hero looks like.

I love people who don't love the thing I'm trying to sell telling me what they think is wrong with it.

Good instincts, to be sure - but there was no podium at Olympia. Winners only, none of this silver and bronze bullshit. Yeah, the Panathenaia offered money for second place - but that doesn't work with the 776 BCE reference.

If history is a guide, it's likely those players will just be shuffled to another Catholic institution and continue their careers, the academic advisers will receive some hush money, and this whole thing will just be swept under the rug.

This can't possibly be real.

Nice "journalism" Deadspin you didn't even tell us if he ever caught up to the steeple.

That's weird. Usually long distance runners lose their shit.

The rest of the field was later disqualified for excessively celebrating that Kenya isn't in Europe.

In a demonstration of draconian consistency, the European Athletics Association revoked every podium finisher's award dating back to 776 BCE.

It's a popular thing to name yourself after these days. At least 31 other commenters agree.

Maybe I should hold myself to a higher standard, guy who named himself after Bells Palsy.

He really does it to fend off the slurs hurled at him by his rival, Trey Urugay.

New Eagles QB Mark Sanchez wears a specialized bracelet, as well, only his beeps when he ventures within 500 yards of a high school.

The only thing that reminds me of that poem is Karlifornia:

And I asked God, "Why, during the most difficult times of my life, were there two sets of footprints and one set of knuckleprints in the sand?"

Fitting that he's a Sun Devil, given that he's clearly proud about the very thing that will send his soul to hell.

Things did get awkward during one meeting when Mitchell mentioned that he was a split end. The book club then spent the next 45 minutes recommending various shampoos and salons.

"Don't draft this guy."