Sorry. I only watch students films I can be done with in a few minutes.

Bro #1: That worked just like clock work, by golly!

Poor bastard blew through five dollars in quarters just to get that stupid milk can.

I thought you needed three rings for a circus.

NFL: [takes dump]

Resolved: MLB should do away with intentional walks and allow teams to put a man on first without throwing four pitches.

I really like Jack and Diane, though.

Jason Kidd has shown us that you don't need any real success to be treated like Pop or Phil Jackson.

Necessary reading.

"Dad? Dad? No song for me? I'm taking you to court!"

You want to talk airport scams, how about Hudson News charging me $6.75 for a box of Mike and Ike's that had way too many greens for my taste— now that's a scam! Well, so was this guy's thing, but still.

This list has Goose Island and not Jai Alai. It must be destroyed.

A flight to Chile has ended with the team still Alive.

if you have to ask...

Usually the combination of bad reporting, booze, and fighting means Mariotti is involved.

Pat actually apologized to me during commercial break. He may be outspoken about homosexuality but when confronted with it head on he was very nice. I think next time I'm on TV YourTatoosAreLame can be my stylist. Seems he has more fashion sense than this homosexual. #yourtattoosarefaaaaaaabulouuuuusss

He will be the highest draft pick with a bitchin' suit since Ed O'Bannon.

This should finally dispel the notion that he tends to fade into the background in big moments.

Big men break down for all different reasons. For Greg Oden, one leg was slightly longer than the other, which led to structural issues. Yao Ming carried too much weight in his midsection, which caused extra pressure on his feet. And Roy Hibbert broke down because Charlotte, the plucky spider who saved Wilbur's life,…

As Germany should know, the US doesn't let a little water stop them from advancing.