Uh-oh, I think I owe the family of Rob Bironas an apology.

They’re English, I don’t think those teeth are a big loss.

Thinking about baseball should have delayed the need to even have this party.

Alderson said he needs more work, saying “after the season, he’s going to spend 40 days fasting in the desert.”

“Venus, VENUS, Nigel from the Daily Sun.... quick question- Why do you think you showed us Uranus in the second set?”

That’s gonna affect the center fielder wherever he may roam.

MLB Official: Holy shit, he hit the roof?!?!?! What do we do?

Actually this “No, Actually this is good (Actually this is bad)“ take is bad.

The true measure of a man’s life is how many criminal buddies me made along the way (that he eventually ratted out).

On one hand, maybe the Lions decades upon decades of persistent futility and mismanagement in the face of salary caps and parity could all just be a sham and it’s really Megatron’s laziness and shitty play (and Barry Sanders’ before him) that has doomed the Lions. Maybe you’re right.

Cruz: Joe, I want to warn you. Some people think that when taking a photo you also take their soul with it.

That better be a Communism pun you’re making.

This is the meanest thing Deadspin has ever done to its readers.

Just joking. It’s Matt Sussman!

Spoiler: It’s Dashiell Bennett

season-ticket holders who reneged on their season ticket contracts once it became clear the Marlins were not going to uphold their promises of perks including free parking and VIP entrances at their new ballpark—let alone field a watchable team

This guy gets it.

This whole thing would have been cleared up a helluva lot quicker if Venus had just used a challenge.

Breaking: Buggy Whip Manufacturer Will No Longer Partner With Rotary Telephone Producer

My man loves the movie ‘The Usual Suspects,’ but hates that you never learn who Keyser Söze is.