Do not skip lightly over Fels-Naptha.
Do not just apply it prior to laundering - apply it before your overnight soak.
Do enjoy how your stains disappear.
And then use it to repel all those annoying deer who are trying to soil your clothes.

I do think this twitter post only serves to reinforce sad and pathetic stereotypes. I mean, c'mon, a literature professor idly spending his morning at a Starbucks?

FYI - If it tastes soapy, post about your experience here.

I'd be OK with ceviche, guacamole, chips, and cold beer for dinner, because I tend to not be as hungry on a hot night. Still leaves me room for that big banana split for dessert.

No heat cooking? Lemon, lime, and orange juice + fish = ceviche

Due to the repeated blows to the head he is at great risk for multiple concussion syndrome, where he might experience symptoms like (1) blurred vision, (2) confusion,...(3) slowed reactions...,...(4) poor ... decision making...,...(5) fits ... of ... rage....

Oh heck, for an MLB umpire how will we ever know?

Unlike the lesions remaining in Daly's stomach, those colors don't bleed!

...which tastes yeasty and sweet, like an infected donut
Unfortunately, it was getting an infected donut after a visit to Tijuana that ruined Speed Buggy's marriage.

"That ring right there, is a long way from home plate."

Vin Baker never considered the commissioner a soul mate until he heard mention of how Stern has begun spending his evenings reveling in the boos.

Usually I can get through an article without thinking about sex, but these eight words made me break a nervous sweat - "involvement was more minimal than had been assumed."

Does Deadspin still fund road trips?

It was exacerbated by the head Korean chef being off that night. Tasted like dog food.

"I just need a little something to steady my nerves, then I'll start to prep for that schrotenboer removal. [Hic!]"
-Dr. Chao

"There's a sucker born every minute!"
-Otto's Cephalopod Fertility Clinic and Octopus Farm, 5920 Grand River Avenue, Detroit

#ontothenextAZpaychecktofamily

#ontothenextcostumemywifemakesmewear

+1

Please. The hat band is supposed to match your eyes, not your jacket collar.

The Perlis's might need to seek some marriage counseling over how they break a sweat together: his wife prefers three sets of eight gentle reps with little rest, while he prefers eight sets of three heavy reps with lots rest.