You know the country has come a long way when essentially the entire south voted for Freeman.

I hope for this guy's sake, he lead a good life. Otherwise, he might end up rooting for the Browns for all of eternity.

All I care about is that the fireman carrying me out of a burning building got at least an 1100 on his SAT's. Who cares how much weight he can carry!?

Stupid quitter! - An excerpt from Lacrosse Sticks and Acrostics

Maybe you should spend some time in the DGB.

Anyone who took two, 10+ hour international flights in the fall of 2010.

Do you think it's even remotely possible that in the original Karate Kid AND in the remake with Will Smith's kid, that it's simply a coincidence that both of their training techniques are euphemisms for masturbating?

In a related story, Amanda Bynes is showing her love for ugly black guys by wearing Gonorrhea.

When does Rick Reilly have time to play softball?

"And now, whenever he takes his shoes off, it's impossible not to cry. Not because of the gruesomeness of his injury...but you know...because the onions."

“When I finally saw him his pants were melted and he was army crawling to the door. It was pretty traumatic. I mean, it LOOKED horrific. But it SMELLED fantastic!"

If this is the only thing you ever posted, and will every post on Deadspin, you'll die a hero.

White Meat Can't Jump

He Got Game-Hen

Whoops, my bad.

Tom Ley: "Craggs...Craggs! Say I had it first on Twitter!"

How is LeBron a "Grade-A Prick?"

+1 good stuff

Just FYI, Miami is a small-midsize market.