But who will protect us?

You know, normal low-budget stuff.

Just another buttfumble...AMIRITE?

This really takes the wind out of your report from this morning...

+1 HA

This reminds me of when Ron Perranoski's Dodger teammates all brought screen-doors to spring training when they found out they were getting a pitcher that was a Polish Submariner.

+1 Nice

Don't look now, but Harpering is apparently already a "thing".

Someone must have asked him to give an example of a situation where jeans can be clutch. #LeatherChairSavers!

So why won't the Nationals use the c-word?

Actually, I heard that guy has pretty good eye sight.

Actually, they should save some money and just downgrade their scoreboard to one where the HOME score never changes from 0.

AP Report - A photo resembling the witness's description of the attack bear placed it about a mile from the scene approximately one hour later, destroying a Golden Corral buffet:

WOW! Tony Gwynn looks GREAT!

True or False: Berkman looks genuinely disappointed that the inevitable RBI that would have been his has been taken from him.

And if you believe this Grantland article, and there's no reason not to, it only costs $4 to go to two games, and sit in ten different places, including in the first row behind home plate talking to David Sampson's stupid ass.

No. I didn't mean in the way a nobody player goes out and is super aggressive in a stupid way, which doesn't benefit his team because the team he's playing against is far over-matched (and losing by 30), regardless of whether he or the player he's headhunting are in the game.

And they allow food and drinks.

I go to Marlins games to do my homework, because they're significantly quieter than the Metro Library.

Can someone go in a press conference and call out Tom Thibodeau for sending his worst player on the court to try and incite LeBron to get him thrown out of the game?