As Sheriff of Douchetown, this must be one of the most trying times of your career.

• The Duck Challenge: Change the topic of conversation to ducks without anybody noticing.

The “challenge” is an interesting social phenomenon, being basically a modern-day manifestation of the “dare,” but issued to the public rather than to an individual. Now I have some very bad ideas for challenges...

Sad thing is that there are numerous studies out there that show a correlation between lower intelligence and having more children. 

If you thought it was a good idea to attempt this ‘challenge’ you should be barred from driving.

Bangers and mash...

I’m 99% sure a “banger” is a sausage.

If you thought it was a good idea to attempt this ‘challenge’ initially, an NTSB warning won’t a change a thing. Hell, I doubt most of them even know that the NTSB is a thing that exists.

Drake? BANGER?

‘Yeah, well, why do my insurance premiums have to subsidize women’s contraceptives? Hell, that’s anti-productive. My Viagra & Cialis meds on the other hand, keep me healthy, strong, & vital as I contribute in excess to our bullish economy.’ — said the Corp. Board Member/GOP donor sometime between 1980-2020

But the recommended serving temperature for blonde ale is relatively cool...

Just another day in America’s #1 Christian Family Values™ Channel 

Here’s the picture of the enormous penis of Donald Trump Jr. she was showing off around the office:

lol ya this is going to go over real well with the Budweiser Michelob tailgate wife-beating crowd. “Obama has infiltrated my beer! No Muslim beer!” 

How do you know they’re not Muslim?

Next you’ll be telling us you are people.

All the art you need.

diverse consumers and brewers

People who get travel insurance probably aren’t the ones you want to party with anyway.

Nothing says ‘vacation’ like no alcohol.