The man failed miserably selling gambling, football, and steak.

Plus his hands are too tiny

well, i am 46 and reached my last fuckable day some years ago. i guess i should just go float out on some ice and be done with it.

“Alabama, Arkansas,
I sure do love my ma and pa”

Christ guys, are you trying to hand West Virginia and Arkansas to Trump!?

Oh YEAH? I heard that Hillary FORCED Chelsea to suck on her breasts for YEARS.

Trump is going to skip the next debate and instead host a pay-per-view where he will literally make out with his daughter.

I embraced the dark circles under my eyes from a young age and went into IT and Programming. Now I work with co-workers who all have the dark circles under their eyes, apathy in their hearts and the cutting sarcasm to break down the strongest middle managers.... my people!

Restroom checker

I love how the GOP is all about the free market, until the free market tells them they can take their law and shove it up their ass.

There is literally nothing more “for-show politics” than passing a completely unenforceable law targeting transgender people and the bathrooms they use in order to stir up your religious conservative voting base.

I guess I could be nice and say the fuel economy on the LX 570 is “nostalgic.”

You’re grossly underestimating the safety risks posed by back to front wiping.

The look on Bob Costas’ face after being told “I hope you leave enough room for my fist because I’m going to ram it into your stomach and break your god damn spine” would be worth the tape delay.

Hey now, if we use “racist” to describe “things which were until relatively recently totally racist”, where does it end?

Fortunately their home blackout rules mean that’s not a problem.

that fucker is from Orlando and I hope he burns in hell

Why on earth would Goodell want to stop Ballers? It’s about as vanilla as they come. It’s a show about strip clubs and bikini babes. Oh yeah and football players.

Not long ago, a guy in front of me in the airport security line was surprised he couldn’t bring a container of soup on the plane.

Blame a minority?