I personally use low tops because of their versatility, but my brother prefers high tops for the feeling of greater ankle stability.

That humans are the real monsters. *cue Deep Thoughts music*

I don’t hate onions, but a little bit goes a looooooong way. I almost always halve the amount in a recipe because they’re such a powerful aromatic already.

I live in Tampa Bay, where Clearwater is -- Scientology’s spiritual center. They’ve also spread out to a section of Tampa that’s good for bar life but also very close to a community college and deeply low-income neighborhoods. So, I’d say that’s an example of a “Scientology-heavy town.” :-/

Yeah, my office did a DiSC assessment earlier this year. I felt like the areas for improvement/things I allegedly have a tendency to do was applicable to me 10-15 years ago, but certainly not in personal and especially not in professional settings now.

When my now-husband and I would get lost (pre-smartphones), stay in a rickety hotel room, or even now just take a wrong turn, we’ve come to say “it’s an adventure!” with varying degrees of manic joy. It helps us to remember to giggle and that we’ll be fine.

+1 for the Tampa Bay Mutiny reference.

It rang very true to me. I knew a guy who’d been training as a guard at the local prison. He said that he was taught to yell “stop resisting” anytime they’d have to physically subdue (beat) a prisoner as a way to cover their asses when it came time to file paperwork.

Man, FUCK High Tension. Right in the ear.

This is incredible. Other bachelor parties need to step the fuck up.

I suspect—I hope [Trump] knows—maybe he does?...that there are dozens and dozens of us.

We don't deserve Terry Crews. <3

For real. My mother had insisted, ever since I went off to university, that I needed to call her every week. And if I didn’t call her on Sunday, she’d call me to guilt me in that “oh, I was just seeing if you were okay” way. This expectation continued into my late 20s. The only thing that finally broke that…

I still use the term “cock doggies” to see if anyone notices.

I feel you on the eye-bags. My skin might feel great one day because I used a konjac sponge and moisturized juuuuuust the right amount.... and I still look like my face is swallowing the light. 

Cat poop. It happened. The only thing that saved my entire downstairs was that sometimes DJ Roomba gets into a battle of wills with our thick bathmat and loses, unable to get over the “hump,” as it were. I thanked several deities that day that the bathmat had thwarted the Roomba’s attempts to escape our downstairs…

PLEASE FUCKING DO THIS

Suppositories are the worst. I had a lot of constipation problems as a kid, but I don’t remember it being painful or anything — I just didn’t poop a lot. Of course my mom made sure I ate fiber-rich breakfast cereals in addition to our usual servings of fruits and vegetables, but I wasn’t pooping enough by her…

The godsdamn good idea fairy just needs to be taken down. Sniper. No fuss, no muss.