I already know how to act at fancy restaurants thank you very much.

It seems obvious that urine wouldn’t be sterile or germ-free. The body expels it for a reason. But anyway, piss on it.

Funny, because nothing confirms my happiness of being in a stable, healthy, long term relationship like Dr Nerdlove’s columns.

What? When did Florida get weird and stupid?

Bought it. Wear it to Bastrop whenever I drop by.

Look out for the mighty Texas Air Force and Navy? A redneck with a rifle is no match for an Ohio-class submarine and all of its special cargo.

You’re the kind of person who makes me not want to wear heels. “Don’t judge yourself by that shit” but then you go on about judging “silly chicks” not being “fucking bosses” in heels.

As a woman who has never been comfortable walking or wearing heels, you are the woman I look at and wonder “How the hell??” Seriously even at weddings after just 1 hour my shoes have to come off. So uncomfortable. I don’t even bother at work, I have an extensive collection of flats.

I’d LOVE to hear the HR woman’s version of this story. I bet some charcuterie and a few bottles of wine coupled with HR woman’s retelling of this story is pee your pants hilarious.

I cannot decide if she’s serious or if she’s going to take off a mask and reveal that she was Joaquin Phoenix all along and it was all just a character piece.

My husband and I aren’t upper middle class, we’re like barely middle class, and he’s white; I’m Hispanic. Anyway, I was raised by a single mother who didn’t get her GED until I was 9 years old and we were on welfare until I was in junior high. In all that time, I don’t remember my mother ever complaining about how…

Just imagine how good he’s going to feel when he finally takes that human-skin suit off and lets his dorsal venom sac breathe.

I always trot this out for Homeopathy discussions :)

But what if it is delicious Kobe beef?

Toyota’s favorite beer is Bud Light.

Toyota thinks Tim Tebow deserves another shot.

Toyota’s favorite position is missionary

Toyota goes to the all you can eat sushi place and orders a steak.

Somebody’s gotta go back and get a shitload of dimes!

It’s actually in the index of verified Asprey health claims. Out back by the shed, if I recall correctly.