Definitely Not Miss Piggy

Glad to see Lennay Kekua has found a new beau.

As Martin Yan always says, “It’s stir-fry, not stare-fry.”

I agree wholeheartedly with this.

Not mutually exclusive.

It gets even better if you think about “Yakkety Sax” when watching it.

Why your team sucks is back! YASSSSSSS!!!

If I put my fave, “Fuck the Pain Away” on the app, what are the odds I’d get a callback?

Nine Inch Nails-Bite the Hand that Feeds

Simplest rule for reclining.

You forgot the most important part - If, for some godforsaken reason, you find yourself flying Spirit Airlines, be sure to have a suicide prevention hotline number to hand for the inevitable delays, cancelled flights, and “don’t give a fuck can’t fix it”-itude of the gate agents.

“No Diggity” by Blackstreet. Yes, you can do all of the verses on your own, and you will win the hour if you do.

“This Is How We Do It” by Montell Jordan

I Believe In A Thing Called Love by The Darkness is never not a good choice.

Shirt-blindness is a side-effect of paternity

My son doesn’t know anything. He can’t poop in a toilet or open a jar or even identify shapes with 100 percent accuracy.

That apron protects less than a Bears defense.

Well, technically this guy

BE MY FRIEND CHRIS KLUWE YOU DIIIIIIICK.