It's exceedingly difficult to recognize every facet of bigotry you learn growing up. Most of us need it pointed out to us to fully realize it. Simply saying "don't be a bigot" is great - but it's not that simple.

"Vaginas don't need lube."

I'm trying to make it easily digestible for my white friends. ;)

"...we can't inject our children with chemicals."

As someone who lives near the epicenter of the current measles outbreak (Disneyland), the anti-vaxxers (and there are a lot of them here) drive me insane. What kind of selfish, self-centered douchebag is willing to risk the well-being of their child and the well-being of everyone else because you're not smart enough…

This ruined my whole year.

So... not from Food Babe, then? I prefer to get all my health advice from someone with no comprehension of science, and even a poor grasp of what words such as "pumpkin spice" mean. It makes life edgier, and more confusing.

Your #NiceGuy tears nourishes me, please keep going.

Maybe if he bought 99 Nokia phones instead, they could have been... N-Gage'd

It Happened To A Little Girl, Born In 1582, From The Corpse Of Her Mother, Madame Colombe Charti, And Also About 299 Other People In World History, Total

Literally anything else? Webdings it is.

Other strategies considered by Byron:

If they are not 0-5 after that game, I will throw my car keys into a river.

If I could get 21 days paid leave just for going to Dallas, I would be on the first fucking flight.

The obsession isn't limited to current players. Even in retirement, Chipper Jones also excessively overindulges on apps.

I've found that similar thoughts along the lines of "it must not be easy to be the kind of person who blows their top over such an insignificant issue, what kind of life is it to go through such stress" is actually helpful. A little smug, maybe, but hey, if it helps resolve the situation faster without transferring…

This picture *bites knuckle* is makin' *stiffled laughter, long wheeze* my *propeller hat spins uncontrollably* loins tender. *flies into space*

If you're already out there gobbling up hashbrowns, carry on though!