Holy ballsack. My life has been forever changed.

There's a dual gravestone in Lake Helen, Fla., with the husband and wife's names, Buster and Minnie. Their last name? Hyman. BOOM.

I just had to say that I love you simply for the "fire of a thousand burning infections" bit. Marvelous.

Seriously! In the past few years I've let loose and stopped giving a fuck — I started pursuing fitness but for making my body feel good and less old and rickety. And it's like men swoop toward my confidence now, whereas before I was the sad, desperate girl. If I weren't married now, hoo boy, I still wouldn't be…

Please do. And I love you forever now for the velociraptor meme.

Please do. And I love you forever now for the velociraptor meme.

Re: yoga teachers (and Lululemon, incidentally). Holy balls. My local Lululemon hosts weekly yoga workshops by different local teachers, and one lady needed to seriously STFU. She talked about the heavy, noisy breathing, equating it to Darth Vader. Then she said, "The Jedi were yogis, you know." Oooookay. But then she…

I definitely got myself a cool, understanding husband. He said early in that, if we ever did get hitched, he understood my rationale for wanting to keep my name. But then, shortly before our wedding, he suggested we both hyphenate. You know, since I'm McAwesome and he's McBadass, we'd both become Mr. and Mrs.…

As a resident of Tampa, I feel I must defend my town. Are we perfect? Oh hell no. But we are famous for our cigars, beer, and strip clubs (possibly even in that order).

I really, really didn't want an engagement ring. We were already sharing finances, and I thought it would be a waste of what little money we did have. So instead we went to the jeweler, picked out our wedding bands (titanium, what what!), and both wore them on our right hands until the big day as our version of…

I really, really didn't want an engagement ring. We were already sharing finances, and I thought it would be a waste of what little money we did have. So instead we went to the jeweler, picked out our wedding bands (titanium, what what!), and both wore them on our right hands until the big day as our version of…

LITs will get you schnockered on a budget.

Wait, but if it's such a hot commodity, why is he okay with it getting on my chest, back, or mouth? I can't pop out golden emperor babies from my back like a wet mogwai.

Er, Jimmy. Jimmy was the petulant child.

Oh man, I wanted so badly to make a Smash drinking game.
Anytime someone says Karen is a talent/star/revelation/sparkly pony, one drink. Two if she's not even in the room.
One drink if Karen raises a hand above her head while emotively singing. Do a shot if she raises both.
Drink if there's unexplained extra musical…

But in all seriousness, the actor looks a lot like someone I was once involved with. I have started watching PLL because I enjoy looking at him. I have problems.

Helloooooooooo, nurse!

Seriously. She has such a lovely and infectious smile. At least we got to see that smile a bunch in Party Down.

*under = unsee. Damn autocorrect.

In 'N' Out is Christian?!? Oh gods, I feel so dirty now. I've eaten their delicious, delicious burgers, and now I can't under Christian swingers when thinking of "animal style." shudder