Dec 15 2016

since he cant sell burgers at his restaurant and can’t sell his steaks at sharper image, he has to take his beef to twitter.

Nov 27 2016

I am SO glad that baby was ok but goddamn I’d throw every ticket in the book at those parents. PROPERLY RESTRAIN YOUR CHILDREN!!! (And remember no puffy winter coats in the car seat! Use them like a blanket over the child once they’re already strapped in!)

Nov 19 2016

It proves that the universe is circular because it went all the way around.

Nov 16 2016

My friends are more Juliet Angus than Melissa Hermer. That’s why I gift booze and muzzles.

Nov 15 2016

Trump has picked General Buck Turgidson to head up the DoD, based in no small part in his passing resemblance to a young General George Patton.

Nov 13 2016

my stepfather broke down on the day Trump was elected and confessed to us that he is undocumented. he was able to leave safely today morning and he’s returning to his home country via Canada. my mom will leave soon after to join him. we’re fortunate to be economically stable, and i have to stop myself from thinking of Read more

Nov 9 2016

this exactly. I knew they were out there. it is the people who didn’t show up for Hillary when Obama begged them to. they just didn’t seem to care. Read more

Oct 31 2016

Does anyone ever wonder what Eli Gold’s emails would look like?

Oct 27 2016

That’s adorable! Never seen a naked girl before, huh? You should try leaving Mom’s basement once in a while. There’s a whole world out there to explore.