“Could Be the Worst Restaurant in America.”

since he cant sell burgers at his restaurant and can’t sell his steaks at sharper image, he has to take his beef to twitter.

Stupid hat? Check.

I am SO glad that baby was ok but goddamn I’d throw every ticket in the book at those parents. PROPERLY RESTRAIN YOUR CHILDREN!!! (And remember no puffy winter coats in the car seat! Use them like a blanket over the child once they’re already strapped in!)

I still literally cannot believe this man is our next president.

We call that Freedom Foam.

It proves that the universe is circular because it went all the way around.

My friends are more Juliet Angus than Melissa Hermer. That’s why I gift booze and muzzles.

Trump has picked General Buck Turgidson to head up the DoD, based in no small part in his passing resemblance to a young General George Patton.

...

My favorite is the one where Biden superglues a draw shut and labels it “Muslim Agenda”.

my stepfather broke down on the day Trump was elected and confessed to us that he is undocumented. he was able to leave safely today morning and he’s returning to his home country via Canada. my mom will leave soon after to join him. we’re fortunate to be economically stable, and i have to stop myself from thinking of…

this exactly. I knew they were out there. it is the people who didn’t show up for Hillary when Obama begged them to. they just didn’t seem to care.

This idea that our fellow citizens are innately good people.

“In the distance a dog bark
Do he bite?
Kill my landlord.
Kill my landlord.”

Does anyone ever wonder what Eli Gold’s emails would look like?

So, just so we are clear here is a quick summary of Tammy Duckworth’s life:

That’s adorable! Never seen a naked girl before, huh? You should try leaving Mom’s basement once in a while. There’s a whole world out there to explore.

Poisoned candy/tylenol kills innocent people = a permanently changed nation

Spoiler: he dead.