Someone around here pointed this out in a previous thread, but I agree with it, so I'll repeat it here: the most surprising thing about parenthood is that getting poop on you is preferable to getting poop on just about anything else. Washing poop off of your skin takes like 15 seconds. Washing it off of anything else…

Oh boy. I wonder if this might give people a reason to hate Duke.

You may seem like a crazy person now, but just like the moon landing being fake, you'll be shown to be the true hero a half century from now when the truth comes out and we find out the entire Kimmel show was done a sound stage in Hollywood.

Based on these rules, no one should ever be on the Internet ever.

Mr. Bryant -

Here is a screenshot from the video. Its of Dez Bryant attempting to rob 80,000 people in Green Bay. But he doesn't get away with it.

Emmitt Smith was in a real corundum when he bought his fiancee a ruby engagement ring.

Spot on article yet again, Tyler. I'm in the keep the A-10 camp, even with alot out there overstating about its capabilities — But the Sandy mission is no joke. No one can do it better than the Hogs and I want them on the battlefield ready to do this if we ever need it.

Unfortunately, there are some pieces of the past that they cannot sell, no matter how hard they try.

real talk, everyone. I am a moderator on popular nice guy dating site okcupid. This means I spend about five minutes of every day, or at least days I remember to moderate, deleting dick pics. I've come to the following conclusion: there is no such thing as a good dick pic. I know some people like dicks because society…

Letterman has shown himself capable of conducting some serious interviews over the years when the subject matter dictates it. Obviously, this was just not something where anything faintly resembling seriousness was needed.

—descriptions Civic Motto of Cleveland

The advanced active sensors of the TacTom identified the pair of non-hostile pigeons on the roof at the last second and disabled the warhead to prevent civilian casualties. Had the pigeons been brandishing small arms or MANPADs it would have been a completely different story.

Peter King's Conscience: Peter, you're really not going to make a stand on electing Darren Sharper to the Pro Football Hall of Fame, are you?

2014: NFL suspends Gordon 10 games

"That'll show him."

There are people who think masturbation in a relationship constitutes cheating. Most of us refer to those people as "complete fucking lunatics."

Indeed. Beers like Carib, Kalik, Presidente, etc. would all be complete shit if I were to drink them in a dive bar in Michigan, but on a beach in St. Martin they are fantastic.

that's a good point about "real Coke." I'm not sure I've ever had the real sugar stuff, and I'm no expert, and I figure it's probably at least somewhat objectively better, but since we tend to encounter it on vacation, that's gotta help the flavor too.

This might be the first time in super bowl media coverage that a team will complain about too many soft ball questions.