Not going to disabuse you of the notion that there is any chance that this story is real. But I will suggest that maybe applying critical thinking to stories you read on the internet that seem unlikely might make you look less gullible when commenting.

Easy. Zero.

Well, the prostitute might have a family.

It's called "The Funbag."

Interviewer: Rex, what appealed to you about the Buffalo job?

Good luck getting sympathy on rooting for a playoff baseball team and one of the most exciting teams in the NBA. Jesus, what's next? Someone going "I'm a Yankees, Broncos, Heat fan. It's been a long 9 months".

As a Knicks and Mets fan, I'm ready for plastic bags.

Some of those perpetually shitfaced 20-somethings you reference are alcoholics.

How are so many people not getting this joke, was the story cross posted on Gawker?

I hope it's mom's job to teach their daughter how to use a tampon.

Two worst Christmas songs ever: "Last Christmas" by George Michael, and "Wonderful Christmastime" by Paul McCartney.

Because the NFL has acted according to its agreement with the NFLPA. That agreement lets Goodell decide what actions are harmful to the NFL and what the right punishment for them is. No federal statutes have been broken, working for the NFL is not a right, the only rights Peterson has in this matter are his…

They know exactly what they are doing.

Only the NFL could make me end up rooting for the guy who beat his kid.

If we're all supposed to honor and respect you for being big strong men willing to take a bullet to enforce the law and protect the public, maybe you shouldn't undercut that by being hysterically overreactive crybabies about the slightest implication that maybe somebody in your ranks is doing a shitty job?

Get in line. The Browns owe everyone an apology.

I'm not sure why this is news, Samer. Bengals fans eat butthole all the time, and even consider it their city's signature dish.