We watched this when I was about 13 and my brother was about 7 and we were at the beach. The next day he got mad at my parents on the beach and screamed at the top of his lungs, “WHY DID YOU ADOPT ME!???” Everyone around us stopped and stared and we were all dying laughing.

That takes me back, Walgreens wasn’t very slick. I used to move really fast between aisles to see if / how many times I could get them to repeat it. “Code 45 in Aisle 6, 45 in 7, 45 in 9, 45 in 12...” Half the time I didn’t even know what aisle I was in without the PA announcement.

“The vibe was very much like, ‘Do I want to f— it? Is it wearing a … yep, it’s wearing a tuxedo,” Dunham continued. “I’m going to go back to my cell phone.’” It was like we were forced to be together, and he literally was scrolling Instagram rather than have to look at a woman in a bow tie. I was like, ‘This…

Genuinely though, what would be the value of survival in a world such as that?

This is basically how Columbo solved every crime.

Hm. How about, “Amanda Knox Writes Tribute to the Dead Roommate She Did Not Murder Ten Years Ago”?

I like mayors.

I’d like Mueller to go to Jared.

He killed someone and served 4 years, sorry if I don’t believe that’s really paying your dues.

Oh my god, Jujy. You can’t just ask someone why they’re in Dubai!

Come on, who better to bring peace to the Middle East than a real estate agent!

Well, the same as how anyone sees anyone. Everyone sees skin color, clothing, and looks first. Everyone. What makes people racist is if they stop at that skin color and decide that the person is not worth their time or that they dislike that person without knowing anything about them.

Kinja needs other options for flagging posts, and this makes me think one of them should be “I’m concerned for this poster’s mental health.”

I maintain that the fact that Anthony Weiner is still alive to go to prison proves that Hillary Clinton is not the murderer the Pizzagate crazies make her out to be, because if she had cause to murder anyone ever it was Anthony Fucking Weiner.

People has also confirmed the news...excellent work Kris Jenner.

I feel like I listen to more than enough Savage Lovecast to have heard the first scenario over and over again. If the sex is bad this long into the relationship and your partner has shown no interest in improving it, then you have to really sit down and ask yourself whether bad sex is the price of admission you’re…

Alternatively, she could shut the fuck up about her #SponCon vacation being cancelled and how she plans to “hit” the resort next year when people who actually live on that island are at great physical and material risk. It costs zero dollars and zero sense to have some fucking humanity and realize not everything is…

Not true, at least for me. I’d be uncomfortable condemning anyone if the only evidence of wrongdoing was second and third-hand rumors, and if the supposed sources of those accusations started directly refuting them.

Nice to see Chris Pratt getting gout and about.