I feel the same, but it’s the truth and even Sir Michael admits it.

I was going through old wedding video the other day... and sure enough, Michael Caine was in it.

I feel like my husband and I are always like “who are our friends?” “oh right no one”.

I just noticed today that Comey has very large hands—-I feel like that’s probably the root of what this is all about.

I’m hoping for AG Jeff Goldblum.

ghosts

Yeah, and the only reason she’s semi famous is because there’s an “i” in tits. (See what I did there?)

If you can find it in yourself to make fun of someone for a flaw that they’re in the process of trying to fix, you’re a bad person. The best Gym I ever went to had an orientation before you got your access card: Along with the normal tour and introductions to staff, there was a great 5 minute chat about creating a…

“I chose wrong” could also be applied to the haircut on the left.

Just for fun, I’m going to try to explain this story to my mom.

TwitterAudit Says 67 Million of Katy Perry’s Followers Are Fake

I remember when murrican patriots started calling french fries freedom fries, even tho the term is not about France. I remember idiots throwing out French wine that is better than much of ours cuz of frenchiness. I remember, idiots getting up in arms because how DARE another country have a different opinion than us.

Don’t laugh. As an American, this is humiliating. Every childish, bully thing he does is a reflection on us, as a people. The outside world doesn’t see Americans as this split thing of people who voted for Trump and those who didn’t. They see us as one nation who elected this asshole (and there is no better term for…

“According to ABC, one parent posted on social media that students should respect Ryan because he has a fancy job, no matter how much you may want health insurance someday.”

“I don’t want to be associated with a man who puts his party before his country.”

Great advice for all situations.

If you’re doing a show about “the 1% if the 1%”, it’s probably a good idea to figure out if you can afford to do it right ahead of time.

Oh my lard, do you remember when original Fallon (Pamela Sue Anderson) was fucking the driver who lived over the garage, and she comes in early in the morning with her sweater off her shoulders and meets her brother on the stairs going out as she is coming home.

Excellent. Then they perfectly captured the spirit of the original.

Trey Gowdy looks like if Voldemort grew his nose back.