I still think that the Obamas’ first act after BHO left the seat should have been an Instagram photo from the shores of Kenya. Middle fingers optional.

Someone read a piece from a Wagner opera.

Not saying it’s a coup....(but it’s a coup)

Trump should not be allowed to nominate a Supreme Court Justice in the last year of his presidency #MicDrop

This dumbfuck’s continued existence is proof that the Clintons don’t have people killed.

He voluntarily exchanged messages with a 15 year old girl. It’s one thing for the puritanical moral outrage over some politician cheating on his wife, it’s a whole other thing when an actual predator gets his comeuppance for being a predator. He’s not a victim.

Tonight when I heard this news, my mind immediately went to the Saturday Night Massacre. But things generally happened at a much slower pace back. It was more of a drawn out ordeal. It’s interesting to note that it was the Saturday Night Massacre that really spurred the calls for Nixon’s impeachment.

His body looks like it was formed from used cigarette butts and cheeze whiz.

I’m becoming more convinced each day that we’re in a simulation and the night shift guy is just toying with us for his own sick delight. Fuck everything. I just hope the simulation administrators aren’t Mormon.

I would pay some of my hard-earned money to hear that said at a presser in a British accent.

If you’re willing to be the back half of a moose, I’ve got a plan...

Narcissists don’t worry about being narcissists. You might just be self-centered. There are loads of online tests that you can take and info you can look up to see if it applies. If you feel it does, do something about it.

True story- in the mid-90s, I was going through a horrible bad breakup, and decided to write an email to my ex and kill myself by jumping off a bridge. Igot in my shitbucket Firenza, and starting driving to a bridge. Suddenly, it started raining buckets, so I decided to pull over so I wouldn’t get in a car accident on…

How long before it’s just going to be Ivanka on a kazoo?

i’m trying to buy a house right now.

Somebody’s gotta do the journalism.

“That’s not true.”

Who would have thought Seth Meyers would emerge as the hard-hitting late-night personality?

By 2001 Michael jackson had much more in common physically with a white man than any black man due to all the surgeries...this seems like manufactured outrage

This is what they’d have to pass as.