That’s exactly why I don’t want to get cremated. You know, just in case something like this came up.

And beating him to a pulp.

I don’t really comment very often anymore.

Since there appears to be so many on the list, did compiling it not make you pause to question whether the stereotype has been wrong this whole time and the ones who can actually move are the outliers (or else part of the Jackson family)?

There have been times when I have told myself that I need better friends, but I had no idea how much better my friends could be.

It’s the one thing Jeb(!) got right about his campaign—calling Trump the chaos candidate who would be a chaos president. I think about that line often.

It’s the social media look-at-me generation. I was gonna argue with you about the age range, but my brother’s 40 year-old girlfriend just posted to facebook requesting inspiration for a new instagram photo to post. I, on the other hand, am both a private person as well as very light-sensitive. The sun is my enemy. So,…

I seriously feel spiritually lighter today for the first time in a year, as though truth, justice, and the American way may actually show itself to be a real thing just this one time.

Really? Name a time in history when it was widely acceptable to rape.

Oh c’mon now—her being 92, of a different generation and mindset, had at least a little to do with it. Or some. Or a lot.

They didn’t put a wig on her because it would have revealed the mystery of the Melania body double.

It’s not just in the fancy stores. I worked at Walgreens years ago and this one store manager would call a code into the phone with an aisle number whenever she wanted store presence in that area. It never failed to be an innocent black shopper just looking for some toothpaste or something. I was too young and naive…

There have been Spacey rumors out there for so many years that I bet that Kevin legit didn’t recall the incident, because it was just one of a thousand others. Doubtful he all of a sudden became horrified about it all.

I sure do miss the smell of black coffee in the morning,
the sound of water splashing all over the bathroom,
the kiss that you would give me even though I was sleeping,
but I kind of like the feel of this extra few feet in my bed.

I recently spent ten months in Europe. I thought I was moving forever, but after nearly a year, I realized that I had gotten what I needed out of it and was ready to leave. When I moved, I had taken what I could in two suitcases and a carry-on. Aside from clothes, I took my favorite (smaller-sized) artwork and my 10…

I’m going to need more bullet points before I make a decision about this episode.

Either that or Coen brothers. 10/10 would watch either way.

Not only is it a thing, but the psychic did it all by phone!!! She was probably lounging in her bathtub or something while she spewed nonsensical idiocy at this woman. I can’t even imagine the stupidity to believe in that shit, let alone to need to contact YOUR DOG after its death. (I just reread what I wrote and I…

Ooooooooh, the huma-nity.

A little bit off? Guessing it’s her eye.