You did it to yourselves when you hung that embarrassing-ass banner

And even that wouldn’t be as sad as Indy’s “Conference Finalists” banner

Fair point, but here I took it as less a sign of super-intelligence and more a sign of clearing the very low bar for intelligence required to figure out that $85M>$35M. Having said that, his agent sucks and he’s a moron for taking the deal.

Not a huge basketball guy, and it seems pretty clear that this strategy was a bad idea, but....what were they actually trying to do here? I mean, from your comment I’m deducing that they were basically conceding mid-range shots to him, but why not just defend him tight while staying, you know, in front of him? Has…

I was about to post something mocking you for trying to dunk on a 2-time league MVP with 3 rings for not having a finals MVP, but then I remembered...Cleveland.

While 69.3 and 69.7 are admittedly at odds with each other in many ways, if (a) the refs didn’t see the contact as incidental, or (b) didn’t feel the puck was “loose,” it wouldn’t matter which rule you cited; it’d be disallowed. (See Table 16 in the rulebook, a set of scenarios and their proper outcomes which didn’t…

I understand that the manager also offered to commit seppuku, but the customer instead opted to accept a discount on future service

Ed. Note: The above should not be misconstrued as an actual apology or an indication of any sentiment other than unadulterated contempt, and Ingraham should be launched into the sun

Binnington really flew off the handle when Schwartz scored to give the Blues the lead though:

“Guys, guys, I know I acted like a racist pile of shit and am resigning in disgrace, but please don’t forget that I had cancer.”

The craziest part of this game is that Jackson's layup put Baylor up 83-81 but they only won 82-81

What a strange and objectively incorrect hill to die on

*reads statement*

Your righteous indignation is duly noted

The person they put into that hospital ain’t the person that came back. Sometimes, comatose is bettah*

Is it weird that the the first thing about this scenario that stuck out to me is that you could achieve the same effect by just placing some tonic with a lime in it in front of them without wasting gin on a cadaver?

BINGO. Letting them get paid by other means addresses all the “but then you’d have to pay the underwater basket weaving team too” shit, and the question of who gets paid how much...It probably still wouldn’t result in what could be considered “fair” given what the schools and NCAA would still make vs. what (some of)…

Ok, fair enough. So if I’m reading you correctly, you’re saying that even if these hypothetical victims’ future earnings are correctly accounted for and they get the same level of reimbursement for past and present medical bills, it’s worth evaluating whether the current system should be tweaked to account for the…

Obscure reference? Yes. I regret nothing