Follow-up question: if not, then why’d you try to fuck him like one?

THAT WOULD BE SO METAL

Adelson looks like the crypt keeper gained 100 pounds and then looked inside the ark of the covenant

“Gary Johnson!”

“Is there a chance my brain could bend?”

What do I believe in? A non-exhaustive list:

I give this troll-job a 4/10...started with a believable premise and your schtick is consistent across articles, but it just spiraled too far into unbelievability in the face of irrefutable contrary evivdence. Gotta know when to pivot

So you mean asking the person to your left to help you shake the last couple drops out isn’t everyone’s standard operating procedure? Ruh roh....that might explain some of those looks...and lawsuits

How about an incident BEFORE the passing of the bill?

“Smoking doesn’t kill. Except for the 1/3 of smokers that it kills. It kills them. But no, smoking doesn’t kill.”

ETA: made that joke before I got to Drew’s heat stroke joke and now I feel like a big dumb dumb.

Given the apparent temperature of the room, how long did it take the unfortunate inhabitant of that Clark the Cub costume to succumb to a heat stroke?

It’s not the dankness of the tweet with the meme, it’s the dankness of the meme in the tweet

If it came out of the mouth of one of these two fuckheads, it never did to begin with

You mean because they’re both hung like this?

Did you ever stop to think that maybe he wasn’t horrified by it, and that he doesn’t believe that you don’t put your hands on a woman? Then if he spouts off like that, he’s a goddamn liar, and NOBODY likes a liar.

Also it’s 2x points for dining and travel (including stuff like cabs/uber), so it’s not strictly 1 for 1 dollars to points

Also it’s 2x points for dining and travel (including stuff like cabs/uber), so it’s not strictly 1 for 1 dollars to…

Well SOMEONE didn’t watch that first video the whole way through

But then you wouldn’t have the option of being a smarmy dickhead to people about it on the internet

We better get back to the gym...The Warriors mostly come at night...mostly