Slaves did not lose their dignity . . . because the government allowed them to be enslaved

The cognitive dissonance from the Roberts dissent is almost staggering.

I had to re-read that second one to confirm that yes, someone did, in fact, invoke the aftermath of a terrorist attack in order to finger-wag a guy for using instagram on the shitter.

BITCH I PLAYED CLUB IN COLLEGE, I'D HAVE RIPPED THIS CLOWN'S TITS

2-2? So a 2-strike count? The kind of count where one might want to do what little league coaches would refer to as “defend the plate”? And a pitch with tailing action, meaning that it started out getting more of the plate than it finished with? And he only had however long it takes for a 98 mph pitch to get from…

Please tell us more about how 98 with movement is easy to deal with

Can we just agree that you have as much of a right to bitch and moan about my attire (preferably while writing as few sanctimonious and patronizing articles as possible about it) as I do to ignore how butthurt you are and dress exactly how I feel like. Deal?

Cardinals fan here.

Fuck you guy, you don't even have your grade 10

Because they’re butthurt that they just got their tits ripped

In Bryce Harper’s case, it would have to be be a non-tobacco herbal substitute that is most definitely not tobacco.

I was always just told it was dangerous, not illegal. I just kick mine off anyways if I’m driving because I find it uncomfortable

Rock....

Got knocked out on “starboard,” because of the teacher’s wonky-ass pronunciation making it sound like “starvard.” Parents knew I was fucked as soon as it came out of her mouth.

The first time I had sushi (I was 11), I decided that the small pile of stuff to the side of the rolls and next to the wasabi looked like some sort of thinly sliced meat product and shoveled a heap of it into my face. What I thought was a strange meat was, in fact, picked ginger, which is decidedly unpleasant when…

Nobody send this to my boss; I’m apparently WAYYYY overpaid

Well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too

Wake up, sheeple

Me too. Somehow, this is worse.