Hey Deadspin, can you stop telling us who to root for? Every time you give an endorsement the team gets fucking bounced like IMMEDIATELY. "Root for Iowa State, they have a cool pro style offense," they said. "Have a heart, pull for SMU," they said. Fuck you guys. And my bracket.

So if Shitty Thing "A" exists, we should just go ahead and ignore Shitty Thing "B". And all Shitty Things, for that matter. Because we have cell phones. Got it.

Not sure how this thread got flipped against you, but I agree with you.

Lemon is a clown and so are you

if that last tweet doesn't deserve a "yard abandonment" tag, I'm not sure what does.

Player 1—

And sometimes, only sometimes, "he needed killin'" should be a valid defense for murder.

Accessible talent? You....didn't see the Bucs play last year, did you?

That's just, like, your opinion, man.

AM I WRONG?

Psh, I'm not a highlight hipster...I thought the highlights were cool WAY before there were highlight tru—...

Always fucking highlight truthers

Guy in gray hoodie: And THIS is why I told you goddamn kids to stop playing ball inside. Just wait until your father gets home.

Dolan, who is now a cardinal and the Archbishop of New York, wrote to the Vatican regarding the $55 million in funds that "[b]y transferring these assets to the Trust, I foresee an improved protection of these funds from any legal claim and liability."

Woah, you're telling me the kkk guy was on the racists' side? Knock me over with a fucking feather. Hard hitting reporting, Don.

Always highlight truthers.

I hope you've learned your lesson here.

Nah, they'd just end up getting screwed, and they wouldn't even see it coming

You don't have to be an alcoholic to not drink.

11. Getting hit by a car