Fuck/Marry/Kill: Magary, Burneko, Howard.

It was really hard to wrap my head around it when he played the villain in that one season of Dexter. I can't not think of him as that goofy ass alien.

I feel like #HOTTAEKS would ensure whether he played out not. Play? THAT THUG HAS NO FAMILY VALUES IT'S JUST FOOTBALL. Don't play? HOW COULD HE ABANDON HIS TEAM IT'S THE SUPER BOWL. It'd be a lose-lose.

Please refer to my earlier response to Rally_Point in this thread.

My dictionary came up with "a contemptuous term used to refer to a North American Indian." Guess he's right, both our dictionaries are totally OK with the term. Joke defeated.

And does someone really throw in a "...FEW SECONDS SHORT" at the end? Did they think they'd get something different in those last few seconds if he'd stuck around? This is just such delightful media petulance.

On the ever so unlikely chance he actually reads this comment section, can we start throwing out ideas for his next canned press conference response? My vote would be "THERE IS NO MARSHAWN ONLY ZUUL." Anyone else have something they'd like to see?

He should read Slow Getting Up

Can I put in "Getting hit by a car" as a write-in at this point?

Maybe this will help

He had similar sentiments.

This happened twice — TWICE — in the span of two consecutive rugby matches...quickest guy on our team is weaving in and out of traffic, someone gets a hand on him fairly low while trying to drag him down as he's trying to cut, and dude kind of crumples and stays down, hurt. We all kind of freeze and assume that it's…

I've re-read it thrice already. It holds up.

Can we institute a new rule that anyone who coins a term for a scandal as "anything-gate" must be put to death by bludgeoning with a dictionary and/or thesaurus?

Or at the VERY least showing its ass.

I REGRET NOTHING

Here's a link to give you some insight on what happens to baseballs - basically, the home team's clubhouse guy rubs them down with a specific kind of mud and delivers them to an umpire for inspection....not terribly unlike the NFL's process. I have no idea about pucks or basketballs, but I would imagine that…

the line drive coming their way happens after another semi-important series of events, namely coming to set (which stops the clock) and, you know, throwing a pitch.

They MIGHT believe you if you tell them what year it happened!