I had a neighbor do the exact same thing to me when I lived in San Francisco. She didn’t want the car or its cover “ruining her view” from her kitchen.

I DVR sports so I can fast forward whenever Joe Buck talks

I work with a lot of Canadians and barely comprehensible idioms, politeness, and never shutting up are their national treasures.

There’s nary a man alive that can outrun a greased Tongan.

The White Walker administration as well

Needed Doxycycline for something. Insurance didn’t cover it.

Mr. Redfield would like to test the sincerity of your claim.

Jorts, a Cabela’s hat/shirt, and a handjob. Livin’ the dream.

Or filled with athletes that previously died in the pool.

You know, now that you mention it, it was somewhat strange when the IOC asked us to design one of these for the pool

Time for a Brazexit?

Problems shouldn't last weeks until you're in graduate school. Tell your teacher to screw off.

Lest we forget those classy, 700-level Eagles fans of yore- those fine upstanding (and mostly white) fans of sport would never instigate such a fracas.

Probably not the best to be making loud noises and yelling things sounding like “Hussein” or anything vaguely middle eastern in origin at an airport given the... “worldliness” of our TSA staff.

My dad used to throw chlorine “bombs” into our pool for shock treatment. Can attest

I assumed it was a biblical plague.

I’m going to report this to me local member of Parliament! ‘Ey, Gus!

“hey’d by engineers”

Magary, Trump, and Jesus Diaz are all going to get trapped in a 2D square and launched into space, like those bad guys from superman.