Probably not the best to be making loud noises and yelling things sounding like “Hussein” or anything vaguely middle eastern in origin at an airport given the... “worldliness” of our TSA staff.

I’m going to report this to me local member of Parliament! ‘Ey, Gus!

“hey’d by engineers”

Magary, Trump, and Jesus Diaz are all going to get trapped in a 2D square and launched into space, like those bad guys from superman.

Definitely sex stuff. Specifically, butt stuff.

Glad to know that I'm not just socially anxious, I'm just the distant pack leader at age 29.

Right. Exactly- partying. The only way he could have been more clear was if he gave you a masquerade mask:

I’m happy about this purely to shit on Joe Buck’s day.

Relax everyone, it’s probably just that gold medalist girl from West Virginia dispensing some good-old, rootin’-tootin’, second amendment USA style freedom.

Glad to see Roy Williams found a summer gig with CSC Event Staff

I’m no swimmer, but I would assume that both the “downstroke” and the “upstroke” of the underwater kick contribute to forward propulsion more efficiently. If you are cruising at the surface, a lot of your upstroke will be wasted (can’t kick yourself through air) in contrast to your downstroke through the water.

Overinflated tire.

Or that China tried to copy the US multiple times with varying levels of success

That’s the just the thousand-yard stare one develops from spending any amount of time with her husband.

She could be quite attractive with the right glasses, so I don’t buy the vanity argument. If she was really that vain, she probably wouldn’t be married to her dipshit husband.

When I was around 13, I thought the song went “Fuck me a lady tonight.”

That’s right. If you find my misogyny offensive, you can just leave- because that's what a strong person does.

Just tape it to a ceiling fan and be done with it

“Progenitor of rented mules Donald Trump”