That speaker looks a little too Jesus-y for my office

That speaker looks a little too Jesus-y for my office

Improper usage of homonyms, that’s for sure!

They melted steel beams to make the ink for this tattoo

Give it a couple of years and you'll prefer to climb that tree for the purpose of hanging yourself

I believe it all started with the Dick-taphone. Then again, Cuneiform all looks like little dicks.

Like Ted Cruz!

Don't worry, after he scored, he shot the camerawoman just to be be sure.

Baseball/ NFL/ Soccer/ Basketball/ Hockey > Golf > Nascar > Anything that ESPN2 airs after midnight (looking at you PBA and WSOP) > esports

Open secret: you could do some digging and find out that some of those “vetted” girls were also in high school at the time.

I have a lot more faith in Anonymous doing good than a state appointed investigator, that's for certain.

This is for sure a complaint from a dainty lass like Crosby.

Join the club. Social anxiety + depression with a healthy dose of INTJ (if you believe in the MBTI hogwash) myself - nothing fun about that combination.

Coincidentally, he’s also a civil engineer specializing in water treatment and legionella elimination. Maybe I should introduce them. Their texts/ tweets to each other would be too much for the universe to handle.

Her tweets remind me of texts from my dad

Can anyone with a modicum of medical knowledge explain what the hell would have to go wrong internally in that area of the eye to cause something like this?

If you view Howie’s radio shack commercials as satire, it's a lot easier to digest

That wine list looks like it was crafted with the same expertise that one would expect at Alabama football game.

Another spoiler: Rey is Jaina Solo, Han+Leia’s daughter.

+1 for best description of neon deon ever

Maybe Burfict should have just stayed in the locker room