Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. As in fuck this. As in I don't fucking get this and I never will. Fuck.

When you learn to understand the difference between young and fun vs obnoxious and douchey, give me a call. Because clearly you don't.

If you lived in a section of New York that has a lot of pubs - my neighborhood has a ton - you'd be singing a different tune if you just wanted to go about your business on an already-miserable snowy Saturday, only to encounter LITERAL GANGS of drunk twentysomethings yelling and stumbling all over each other and…

Can someone just tell me if the cat dies? I want to see this, love the Coen Bros., think Oscar is totally cute, but pets meeting sad ends when someone's already down and out, just don't know if I can do that. And what cat sits placidly in your arms when a subway train is coming? Things are too stressful to sit through…

Ha, I so thought the same thing, and my brain went in the direction of some weird, mind-bending place where Kendra was able to talk about her quest to have a daughter to an otherworldly being that services Hollywood pseudo-celebs, and those talks took, bc hey look, it's a girl!

Ha, I so thought the same thing, and my brain went in the direction of some weird, mind-bending place where Kendra was able to talk about her quest to have a daughter to an otherworldly being that services Hollywood pseudo-celebs, and those talks took, bc hey look, it's a girl!

I can’t get into Art Basel precisely for reasons like self-involved shoe guy, though at least you could call most of the things he does semi-artful, even if he otherwise seems like a giant douche. But honestly, look at this: It’s a pyramid of toilet paper. Toilet paper, people. AND IT WON A PRIZE. At another exhibit,…

And then, as she hawks the book, there is, unfortunately, this.

A takeaway in the tragic news about Walker is that by all accounts he was as lovely inside as he was outside, without the artifice or ego so otherwise abundant throughout Hollywoodland. This Vanity Fair cover from 2000 likely isn't intentional, but take note of its now-poignant look: Amid those preening and looking…

Looks like a cross between Kate Upton and Brooklyn Decker - you know, hot models. There's no Lohan in that DNA ...

So, um, no turkey, no alcohol and no football at your house? Fun. You give out dental floss at Halloween, I'm thinking ...

My Mom's stuffing (my grandmother's recipe) is so utterly delicious my Dad and I would happily crawl inside the turkey and live there if it would mean we could get at it sooner than when it hits the table ...

It's Julien Macdonald, small d, please fix ...

First the abomination that is Dads, and now this?!?! Seth MacFarlane, you've finally gone too far.

Ha, I so completely do this. I end pretty much every sentence or paragraph in an email or text with an ellipsis. But if I'm pissed off or annoyed at the person, they get periods. Period. And people are onto me and have mentioned it. Less obvious than typing in ALL CAPS ("Why are you yelling at me?!"), but most people…

I didn't watch, but was the Biels even there? Are they still married? Remember when TSwift was totally eye-fucking him at the MTV Awards? Should we think that's something? Remember when he was dating Britney?! So many JT questions ...

Running bug video? New low for SNL ...

Even Macys.com knows its (old) site is obnoxious:

Even Macys.com knows its (old) site is obnoxious:

Who's with me that James and DD faked those makeout photos after James filled in Sally's hubby that they were both being played? Or am I just at the point where I think Every Freaking Character on this show is a Big Fat Liar Hiding a Horrible Secret?