The funny part would be that they fly you over for just the ONE night!

No, no, you missed a Major Plot Point. The eggs are Red Herrings, and the vegetables are Out To Kill. If you don’t believe me, take one look at those vicious limp asparagus spears.

I trust you emphatically

I want Biden to show up and show that million dollar smile

I miss Dennis Kucinich.

Like,

I’m 5’1” and my boyfriend is 6’3”. I have this dream of there being an 8-inch retractable step built into the bottom cabinets. Like, you’d kick a brass kickplate and a spring-loaded step would pop out. It would be awesome.

Ugh. STFU movie man. Just STFU.

“Quentin Tarantino is interviewed by Bret Easton Ellis”

I’m surprised a meeting between him and Easton Ellis didn’t create a douche singularity.

I really hate Meyer for getting so many teenage girls obsessed with an abusive and unhealthy relationship.

Goofy Clooney is the best Clooney. I love him in those roles, especially “O Brother Where Art Thou”. And he seems like such a nice, genuine person too.

honestly its the most straightforward platform of any presidential candidate with regards to avoiding mass shootings

Also the most believable thing he’s ever said. And the most relatable.

I studied abroad in Europe and did a big Eastern Europe train tour over Christmas before I went home, and Pizza Hut almost literally saved my life in Budapest. Pizza Hut on the whole (especially these days) is a godawful garbage factory, but that one Pizza Hut with its open lateness, having heatness and its…

I’ve been eventually dumped or rejected or made to feel like shit in some capacity by almost every dude I’ve ever fucked or wanted to fuck and yet somehow I’ve managed to never mass murder

I mean: doctors get the good drugs.

Whenever adrenaline gets into me during rock climbing my climbing partner calls it “dwarf rage.” I’m torn between finding it hilarious and kicking him in his long-ass shins.

I think....I just got ungreyed.....

Still, line up 100 homeless people, turn on smartphone cameras, and watch 100 people get free food via social media guilt-tripping.