Wear leggings or pants under it. Like a cheongsam. Or else use it as a beach coverup with your swimsuit underneath.

just tie the two lengths together to make a rather fashionable loincloth.

That’s specialization for you. Not every chef knows how to sou vide a peregrine falcon.

I had a friend who used to say “I’m a vegetarian, unless the animal is endangered, cause when else are you going to get the chance?”

LOL, the finest,5 star endangered species chef

“Bald Eagle? Well, it tastes like carrier pigeon, only not so gamy.”

“How many peregrine falcons are left? WILL THERE BE ENOUGH FOR DINNER SERVICE.”

You know what? Good. Fucking good. Maybe now I won’t sound like a grouch and a conspiracy theorist when I say “The Pope isn’t working in our best interest, liberals! He’s saying the same shit all the other Popes have been saying, but in a nicer way that places emphasis on different places.”

- the pope

I would say barely into the 20th century.

And all I got was this stupid marriage license.

HOW’S THAT COOL POPE TREATIN YA, GUYS

So from dope Pope to Pope, the dope?

That’s how I feel. I don’t get the appeal, I think it’s weird, they use shitty bait tactics and word salads to sell magazines. Who buys magazines anyways? Unless there is like real news around the kid, I don’t see what the point is to taking their picture and then making some generic ass story about them just so you…

Note: I do not actually know any Canadian sex acts, just making up things that sound funny. I imagine Canadians mostly have sex through the flaps in their long johns in order to stay warm.

Did she also get stuck in a tree? What are those things that stick out of the foam?

I promise that, if I am ever elected to office, I will release all my sex tapes preemptively, so that they are not a scandal if they become released accidentally.

I had a havanese who one morning burped out a bolt, and he was a smart one too{

Where have these adorable baby owls been my entire life?

This asshole will eat anything and everything. He has cost us a decent amount in emergency bills for eating dumb things. But look at his face!!!!