Oh, I thought we were supposed to send “lawyers, guns, and money”?

Get a job you dirty hippy.

Add not smoking and in general going light on the partying (booze, too), and you got it right.

SUN.SCREEN.

Wow. She is now my role model for aging gracefully.

Animal pee in the kitchen sink isn’t ‘messy’, its ‘dirty’ and a health hazard.

It pisses me off to no end when people are taken from their homes for a messy house. Kids play in the dirt! Kids make messes! Germs are actually good for your immune system. I’m pregnant and honestly, my house is pretty fucking messy all the time. Dirty dishes on all counters. Stuff on the table. Clothes on the floor.…

My family, both sides, go back at least 8 generations in Alabama. I was the first boy that wasn’t born there (my aunt was born 9 months before I was...it’s long story). Years later, I asked my mom why I wasn’t born there and she said “after those white men bombed that church in Birmingham and killed them (4) little…

What has 9 arms and totally rocks!?

Well, that’s not entirely true. Nowadays, just like 100 years ago, you and I do our own washing, cooking, child rearing. The wealthy ones, not so much. Yes, we now have a substantial middle class which can hire people to do this or that, but in the grand scheme of things the wealthy are totally disconnected from most…

I maintain that the fact that Anthony Weiner is still alive to go to prison proves that Hillary Clinton is not the murderer the Pizzagate crazies make her out to be, because if she had cause to murder anyone ever it was Anthony Fucking Weiner.

Hottest of takes: Fuck that guy.

I really like your outlook. Thanks for the good cheer.

I miss your uncle.

She’s donated after Harvey, water crisis in Flint, earthquake in Nepal, pretty sure she set up a Lemonade scholarship...

Why would you recommend a password manager....fuck sakes

Never use a password manager.

You ever seen a sunburnt fish? Makes you think.