Sorry man. Good luck.

I suppose I was thinking about Karma. Marketing professionals may be annoying but produce very little harm compared to racist cops who unfairly target the innocent, sometimes to the point of death. Their Karma is deeply negative.

You should not feel bad for being in marketing. It’s a job that has to get done. It’s not like you’re a racist cop or a venture capitalist. It’s not even that annoying compared to cold calling people or some shit. Fuck the haters.

I’ll get right on it.

That whole pee is sterile thing is a myth, but I don’t think you’ll get a disease from it. Cat pee is loaded with ammonia though which can be dangerous when mixed with bleach. Be super careful cleaning, you could be unwilling making mustard gas. It won’t likely kill you but it might make you vulnerable to lung…

Hef lead the life of a rock star. He took every drug, drank real booze and smoked a pipe. He still lived to be 91.

OK so first you summon a demon. That’s how you get an audience with the devil. Next you sign a contract in your own blood where you agree to trade your immortal soul for whatever it is Kevin James asked for (hint:it wasn’t good looks or weight loss)

Really? Wow the pros earned their money that day. He is capital G gross.

This is why I said strangely. What you say is true, but on the other hand even the poorest of us have more luxuries in our phones and TVs then the richest robber barons, and even the poorest dirt farmer in Africa can have access to a phone.

Point taken, but rich people don’t lead otherwise idle lives. They have to kill themselves working out, try to stay creative while being pulled further and further from the public, not to mention avoid all the people who want to kill them.

Me too. It sounds like he was your uncle too.

I love real estate porn as much as anyone but you shouldn’t feel that way at all. We live in a strangely egalitarian time. All their stuff is just a bigger version of all the stuff you enjoy. They wash their clothes in washing machines and sleep on comfy mattresses just like you.

Hey that’s how I learned not to say it. I was 11. A kid named Brent kicked my ass. I had no idea, I should thank him actually. Better to learn at 11.

Have you considered a harem? I mean if you’re rich and all. I bet they keep your balls spotless.

I can’t believe I had to scroll down this far to see Tyler.

Almighty Xenu I prostrate myself before thee. I have so many questions. Tell me the meaning of life. What are we all here for? Please.

Hey I just discovered “Mormon porn”. They wear special sex garments which the temple says you aren’t supposed to see and all the dudes look like Mitt Romney. I love all porn because I have a penis but the clothes don’t do it for me. I just fast forward until they’re naked.

Penis is like hot sauce. Everyone’s taste is different, but usually all you need is a little bit. Especially on a rainy Tuesday morning.

My eight year old is basically a super hero. Her whole gymnastics class walks around on their hands and can chin themselves at will. They can run and cartwheel and flip at the same time like Harley Quin kicking Batman’s ass. I don’t think there’s anything she can’t climb. It’s a good thing she can’t throw or take a…

My dad told stories of pooping in his world war II era destroyer at sea. There was a long box with a slit all the way down for you to poop in. Everything was wide open. You might even be touching the guy next to you. What a nightmare.