Right? If I had that kind of money I’d be knee deep in cupcakes and blowjobs right now, trying to figure out how to make weed into iced cream.

That was a day maker right there. Wooooo! Classic Archer.

Oh right, SvB. OK I concede. It was a shaky argument to begin with anyway.

How about this reason: They didn’t used to have these shows on TV when I was a kid. They had crappy animation and weird Captain America and Spiderman with hour long, go nowhere stories. OK sure this is the weakest version, but that’s like throwing out the worst candy in the bag.

Not former enough I guess.

You should always assume you get a bad cop. This is especially true of black people. If you mistake a good one for a bad one no harm is likely done but the other way around can kill you. Since the cops themselves never seem to care who is a bad one and actively try to ignore them they’re likely everywhere.

I prefer the term Einstein-Rosen bridge, but OK, sure.

You laugh, but I hugged Chewy last year at Disney and he was so real I cried. I’m 50 years old this year.

You know why Texas is so obsessed with weapons? They remember when all their heroes were wiped out by the Mexican army at the Alamo. It’s also why they’re so afraid of brown people. That’s what they mean when they say remember the Alamo. Terrible defeats make Americans act weird.

Weird, I would have said choice. He’s not prime, that’s for sure. He’s probably been fed a diet of corn and beer his whole life, and he’s obviously well marbled when it comes to fat, maybe Kobe? I’d say grade A but I’m sure he’s never deserved an A in his life.

Thank you for this. This is such a public service. This is literally the best thing I’ve read in the bathroom in months. (I find when I read about politics in the bathroom I get too wound up to go. Thanks Trump, you’ve found a way to ruin shitting for me.)

I have never understood this. Has there ever been a man standing before a willing woman who said: “No thanks baby, I just can’t get past your nose.”? Men don’t care about the thing you smell with. Hell, we only barely care what you smell like.

How about a little history to calm down. There was an armed revolt against the elite right after the formation of the republic, called the whiskey rebellion. It was all over taxes of course. George Washington, champion of liberty, raised a militia and put them down.

Ha. I hope to live long enough to download my brain into a robot body. Then I will spend the next ten thousand years perfecting robot sex. Then the sparks will fly, boy.

Ha. He’s British so he’s probably half in the bag already. That’s how he took the blow and walked away. Alcohol eases the pain, as they say.

Maybe, but more likely if he can’t produce what he’s promised he’ll be defeated and disgraced. He can’t hide behind obstruction anymore, plus he’s almost 80.

I’m now in my 50s but in my 30s I was utterly annoyed by almost everyone and everything. The feeling never passed but I kind of grew to accept it. You can take some comfort in the fact that you are in turn utterly annoying everyone around you too. It kind of takes the edge off.

Ha. Every step of parenthood is grosser and grosser. That’s just the appetizer. I kissed my wife’s pregnancy test. That’s not even close to the grossest thing I’ve been involved with and that’s just during pregnancy.

You can and should take a few days off. Whatever happens, happens. The fight will be right here when you get back. We all deserve a rest, especially in the summer and this shit is exhausting. Just don’t forget to come back in November.

My theory is they’ll give you a boost but if you eat them all the time you’re always boosting so you don’t feel the effect. So psychological.