Likewise. If he'd said "tuna" I probably would have thought "tuna steak", not "chicken of the sea".

This is possibly the least appetizing way you could have described a meat you enjoy. Especially given that "tuna fish" comes from a can to me (even though I assume that's not what you're referencing).

Agreed. Nectarines are superior (even if they're not freestone) and I'm very disappointed that they are not included here.

That's how I eat them. I used to bite into them if I didn't have another option, but now I carry a pocket knife so that's not usually necessary.

I don't think you understand how to eat a peach.

Would it be possible to get a clearly-posted explanation of how to get out of the greys at some point? Maybe in the drop-down next to the J logo if possible, or at the bottom if need be (since the Commenting Guidelines linked on the About page haven't been updated since the days of stars). I just feel like we had to…

<gif of Lucille Bluth rolling her eyes>

When I was in high school the swim team practiced at the local Y, where the deep water with lanes was connected to the shallow area where kids (and people doing aerobics) would play. We would inevitably have a few times every season when some kid pooped in the pool and we'd either have to hang out while they cleaned…

That last one has to be some kind of terrible joke, like that guy who did the asshole note-passing war with the woman on his airplane. I refuse to believe that anyone would actually say "she has to take me back when she sees I bought her tickets to Boyz II Men" in all seriousness.

Yes. If you're going to stand, you get on the right and you stay there until you get off. None of this "try to move to the side if I sense or feel someone is coming up beside me" nonsense. You don't need to move if you're already there. I don't think Tracy is very good at escalators.

This is absolutely amazing. I keep going back to the picture and just cracking up. This dude is so fucking weird.

(Psst... It's actually not in Virginia either.)

Seriously, I was so fucking bored/tired just now and this made my afternoon much more tolerable. You're doing important work here, Trout.

I plan on getting Dollar Shave club as soon as I move into my new apartment, and Facebook keeps giving me ads for Graze (which was recommended to me by someone else and looks awesome) and that wine one because it knows I would rather just have things come to me when I need them. I am all for mail-order everything.

My mom was pretty similar. I've never seen pictures from when she was pregnant with me, but apparently she had me and all of the people she hadn't told were shocked because they didn't even realize she was pregnant.

Forget the fact that this looks like a tennis-ball launcher—can we talk about those tan lines?

This is my dad, galloping through Target. This is not unusual.

Raccoons are evil geniuses. At least with a bunny, you don't worry that it's smarter than you are.

"Acceptable" and "enjoyable" are not the same thing. I won't think you're a psycho if you try to make small talk with me. I will probably be as unenthusiastic as possible until you leave me alone.

WTF? That's messed up. Mine was at least presented as a hypothetical, like "how far would you go" or "how far do you think it's appropriate to go".