I was raging about this article this morning. I think this line is the one that really made me want to burn everything down:

Someone else commented that he’s going to be a Burt-like character named Jack.

Wait wait wait go back

Did anyone else initially think this was their way of announcing she’d had an abortion and they were really happy not to be parents? Because that’s what I thought it was at first and found that to be way more creative and interesting.

How To Clean A Roach-Infested Coffee Maker

“I didn’t call him a pussy, I just gave someone a national stage and let them call him a pussy and made sure everyone heard them, which is totally different.”

Nope. I just have the black one but am seriously considering ordering more in other colors.

How rude.

Or you could get this $34.99 dress from Kohl’s, which is ALSO a wrinkle-free, machine-washable faux-wrap dress and looks better in person than it does on these mildly awkward models. Look, it comes in plus size too!

I know, I know. I’m sorry. I just like oversharing, okay?

I’m on the right, in light blue. Immediately before this, he was talking like he was in a Western (“this town ain’t big enough for the two of us”) and sent me a snapchat of a black screen with that Western whistley sound playing and some caption I can’t remember. I couldn’t get it to load; he said, “That’s unfortunate…

Deep down, aren’t we all?

Tongue-sticking-out-winky-face emoji is easily one of the LEAST sexy emojis.

WAIT that’s you? I’m learning so many things today.

Ah yes, you’re right, I should have considered that study when I made my original comment.

No worries! That’s what I thought, but then DangerTits made me doubt my interpretation.

I can’t tell if you’re calling me an idiot or the school board.

Don’t forget drugs/alcohol! (The former is dependent upon how small the town is, obviously.)

The board voted against adding any program in April 2012, Carr said, because “it’s small town USA and they thought they didn’t need it.”

So much wallet rage. I don’t even know where it all comes from.